okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
