I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I see more hoeing in ur future
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