He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
