just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
