we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
