Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
