is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
