yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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