Barsexuality is the new black.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
