Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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