I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
