What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
