why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
