thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Just pee around me
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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