We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
