i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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