we have officially lost it.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
