Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize