hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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