well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
