Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
