Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
