He kissed a someone with a penis
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
