please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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