Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
