i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize