They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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