you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
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