I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
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She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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