I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
