clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize