He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize