How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
