found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
