i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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