I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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