I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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