her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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