I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
