Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
