what day is it and did you see me today?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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