you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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