umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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