bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
