dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize