So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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