if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
zippers are such a cool invention
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
