party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
