dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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