Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
