apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize