he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
