i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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