her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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