PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Randomize
