She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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