We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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