I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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