I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
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I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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