Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
