What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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