So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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