Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
